On Mother’s Day a year ago, I inquired about adopting an 11 year old child who lived across the country. Today I write as her mother, to her first mother, who passed away when she was 6 years old.
I never had the privilege of meeting you, O how I wish I had. I would ask you all sorts of questions. Like your favorite foods, holidays, and dreams you had. What you were like as a kid, where you grew up and if you went to church.
I would ask you to tell me about how you felt when you first found out you were pregnant with my daughter. I would ask you to tell me about the day your she was born, and how big your belly felt before she came out. I would want to know if you were scared to push, or just so excited to see her beautiful face. I would ask you to tell me more about the pregnancy and if there were certain foods you just had to eat when you were pregnant with her. I’d listen as you told me about when she first smiled at you, began to crawl, ate her first foods, and took her first baby steps. I’d ask you what her favorite position was to sleep in, and how she would respond when she saw you with her bottle. Then I’d love to hear you tell me about her favorite lullaby you sang her, and her favorite shows to watch.
I’d ask you if she was adventurous and climb things not meant for climbing, or if she’d have you carry her all around. I’d listen to you as you told me about her favorite toy or blanket that she wanted to bring everywhere, and if there were foods she’d refuse to eat if you offered them. I’d ask you if she rode a bike when she was little and if she loved to play outside. Then I would sit back and listen as you shared all about this precious girl, and I think you would love to tell me every sweet detail, because you’d be so proud. So amazed by this little life that came from your belly. So full of love and hope for her.
I don’t get to sit and talk to you about all this, because you are gone, and that makes us all so sad. My daughter especially, she wishes you were still here. What I do get to do though, is welcome this sweet, special girl into my family, as my daughter.
And for that I am so thankful to you for all the love you two shared together. All the firsts. All the treasured moments.
This love has overflown into our family. You should see how her siblings love and laugh with her. How much fun we have together. How loving she is to her littlest brother when he needs help. How much responsibility and maturity she has when she is around her little cousins helping out. How sweet and kind she is to her nona and papa, her grandma and grandpa, her aunts and uncles, her teachers, the friends at school and church…..the list goes on and on.
I want to thank you for being the first mother to our sweet girl. The love you first planted in her heart is overflowing into our lives, and we are rich in love.
We don’t get to hear these details about her from you, but we get to SEE them lived out…blossoming, growing, revealing themselves….as we get to be her forever family every day.
It is a joy and privilege to be a part of her journey. She is a beautiful daughter, and we are so blessed to have shared that with you.
Our stories will forever be connected because of this precious child.
Your daughter’s Mom